Only whisper love
by Claire O'Mack
Summary: Randy is in a dark place. will someone be able to show him the light. someone he could only whisper about.


Seen as my ONESHOTS seem to be pretty popular at the moment I thought I might have a crack at another one. I guess I can't help myself. As ever please note the rating and stay away if doing the naked pretzel disturbs you.

Only whisper love

In the end love is something that people only whisper about. A notion of finding ones soul mate and spending the rest of your life wanting only them. I thought I had found mine, I was wrong. I had wasted years of my life trying to find love, trying to turn those whispers of fantasy into reality. I never knew though just how blind love could be.

I still remember every conversation between us, every touch, every look that passed beyond the physical and hit me deep down inside. She knew nothing of course, continuing on with her day like the most amazing thing in the world hadn't just happened to her. I supposed that also made it easier for me to. If I had any inkling that she had felt the same for me as I did for her my indiscretions would have been far more frequent and ultimately self-destructive. Now though as I sit alone on this park bench the light fading all around me, knowing I should just go back to my hotel room and go to sleep, something keeps me sitting here, long after I really should be.

It wasn't cold but the fact that I had been sitting still for so long, plus the ever sinking sun caused a shiver to run down my spine. What had driven me to this bench late in the afternoon and then kept me here until the sun passed below the horizon and cast the park in a moon lit shadow. My wife had asked me for a divorce. I realised that I should have been happy about this, relieved to be finally set free from the bonds of my vows. I wasn't, my sadness also had nothing to do with the fact that she had had an affair either. I was sad because I felt guilty, was my mental indiscretion any worse than her physical one? She knew I had not loved her for years, weather she knew I never loved her at all was something I did not know, but I was to blame for the break down in my marriage, and now sat on this bench getting ever colder in a T-shirt and broad shorts, attire not really fitting with the cool Autumn day, I realised why I had left the hotel.

I had bumped into the woman I had been lusting after for years and for the first time I had realised I no longer had to hide my desire for her. I guess she saw the change in me. We had been friends for a long time and she knew me, probably as well as I knew myself and her first question was what was wrong. I of course told her of the breakdown in my marriage and to my surprise she did not seem shocked. Offering me some consolation she attempted to move passed me when I grabbed hold of her hand. As she turned to me confused and what I also thought was anger flashing in her eyes I was confused for a moment. She had never shown anger towards me, we had an easy relationship, one I cherished beyond anything else, more than I thought she would ever know.

"What is it?" she said and I could feel the tension running though her arm as I clenched her hand in my own.

"I just thought there would be more that's all." I said not knowing what to say beyond my current line of thinking which was that I was now free to tell her I loved her.

"I guess there isn't Randy, I am sorry I didn't work out with you and your wife, but I am late for a meeting." She replied and I dropped her hand immediately. She was right then and there, there was nothing more to say. So I watched her walk down the corridor. At the last moment my lips moved of their own accord, the words coming from my lips barely sounded like my own voice but come they did.

"Beth can we talk, later, after your meeting?" I sounded needy even to my own ears, but it made her stop mid stride and she turned back to look at me.

"I will come and find you when I am done." She said and ever familiar smile appearing on her face and my heart almost stopped at the look in her eyes, even from this distance I could see the kindness they held. Then she was gone and I came to this bench. The ultimate reason was unclear at first, was I afraid of meeting with Beth, afraid of what might be said between us? Probably, but were the whispers right, did you only ever have one true love, and had I already had my chance?

I didn't hear her approach me, I had no idea she even knew I was here, but the next thing I know a blonde head is sitting next to me, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap.

"You must be cold." She stated simply as I gave her a sideways glance but she wasn't looking in my direction. Her gaze was focused somewhere off in the distance, where I did not know, but the fact that she wasn't even looking at me spoke volumes.

"A little." I replied adopting the same position as her and staring out across the park, raking my eyes across the now familiar landscape as she was currently doing not a foot from me. I could feel the heat of her body as it warmed my side nearest her. I wondered if that warmth was real or just a figment of my imagination.

"Why don't you come back to my hotel room?" she said and I couldn't help but notice she didn't add to talk on the end of her sentence. I nodded but she couldn't possibly have seen it as she was still looking out towards the duck pond. Something which was no longer visible as it had gotten so dark.

"Umm yeah that would be nice." I said my voice returning once more and she stood up immediately, turning to me and offering me her hand. I took it allowing her to assist me to stand. I didn't realise just how much I needed that assistance until my stiff legs made a protest at being used once more.

We walked fairly briskly without say a word to one another, this was beyond odd and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. The walk allowed my mind to clear and as we entered the elevator I realised something. She knew, she had probably know all along how I felt for her. This therefore could only go one of two ways. Either we were going upstairs so she could tell me to leave her alone, that she wasn't interested, or something else, far beyond what I ever had dreamed was going to happen. As the elevator doors opened my body was alive with anticipation, something I had not felt for years. The whispered words of boys in school bathrooms about sex and how good it was, the anticipation of your first kiss was nothing compared to this.

"Are you coming." Beth grinned at me as I realised I had yet to move from the elevator while lost in my own thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry." I said moving to join her in the hallway and we made our way to her room. Pausing briefly outside so she could unlock the door. I took the opportunity to smell the scent of her hair. It was the same as always, a flowery sweet smell that I had always associated with Beth. Before I could enjoy the simples of her scent though the door to her room was opened and she was moving inside turning the light on and beckoning me to enter.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked moving over to her min fridge and I looked form her to it. Although the thought of a stiff brandy right now was appealing, it was also not a good idea, for I had a feeling I would not stop at one.

"No I am fine." I said shaking my head and moving over to the chair in the corner of the room. Beth nodded and pulled out a bottle of water and perched on the end of her bed facing me.

"How did you know where I was?" I asked it was something that had been bothering me, and it felt like a nice safe opening line.

"I asked Ted, he saw you leave earlier." She stated, it was almost poetic in its simplicity, but it did mean she had not only came to see me as she promised but actually spent time and effort looking for me. My mind dared to think this was a positive sign and I allowed a small smile to form on my face.

"Well thank you for coming to my rescue." I said not needing to clarify what I meant, we had known each other for so long, words were not always a necessity between us.

"You're welcome, plus I promised I would find you." She replied and I got the distinct impression she was not only referring to tonight.

"It must be hard for you, to know what your wife has done. To have it end this way." She then said and I realised that the time for pleasantries were over. I no longer had anything to hide behind, the truth was the only thing I had left.

"No not really, I know why she did it and I don't blame her. I never loved her Beth and she deserved better. I guess I am also feeling bad, because I am guilty of the same thing as she is." There I had said it and the only reaction I got was a slight arching of the eyebrow. I knew Beth would not judge me even if I had had an affair, but right now she did not understand my full meaning.

"I see." Was all she said and I watched as she placed her water bottle at the side of the bed. Her hair feel over her face for a moment and I inhaled a deep breath at the glimpse of cleavage I got as she sat back up.

"No I am not sure you do. I didn't have an affair with someone, not in the physical sense, but I had feelings for someone, far deeper than they ever should have been." I said not wanting to speak of love out loud. Not wanting to take the final step and say it for the one person who I wanted to hear it.

"Then I guess you are guilty, but also maybe a little foolish." She said now standing up and walking over to me. She crouched down at my side and took my hands in her own. Her face tilted up to me her eyes locking with mine and I was lost in the sight of her full red lips and those deep blue eyes like I had never been before.

"You should have said something sooner Randy, for everyone's sake, maybe this wouldn't have taken as long as it has." Her voice was soft and her face was getting closer I knew she was going to kiss me and I welcomed her lips when they finally met mine. Her touch was so soft, her lips full and slightly parted against my own and once again my heart beet fast inside my chest. Her hands left mine to fall against my chest as she supported herself against me. I allowed my hands to creep up her back and into her soft amazingly scented hair. Now feeling braver I deepened the kiss, asking permission with my tongue to enter her mouth and I was granted access immediately. Pulling her closer so she was now sitting on my lap I ran my hands along her sides, not touching where I knew she wanted it the most. Her sigh into my mouth told me she was ok with this, that all along she had wanted the same as me. What had been stooping us, some kind of overwhelming sense of loyalty to my wife. It was at that moment when she pushed herself against me I felt the first beads of anger rush though me. It had not stopped my wife, she had allowed herself to be taken over with lust and betrayed me, whist I had denied myself this joy for so long. I used my new sense of anger and focused it on the woman I had dreamt of for so long. With a low growl I stood up, taking her with me and pushing her back onto the bed in one forceful movement. She hit the bed hard but didn't seem to mind. Her hair fanning out behind her as I crawled on the bed to join her as she pushed herself along and up until her back pressed against the head of the bed.

"No more waiting." I said crashing my lips to hers once more and forcing her back against the wood panelling of the bed head. She pushed back racking her nails along my back and pulling my shirt up with them as they went. My own hands were not idol either, they were running up her legs, moving them out of my way so I could climb between them and gain better access to where I wanted most. Moving my lips across her neck I reached for the buttons on her shirt and popped them open one by one. Following each of them with a kiss as I went. The creamy soft skin revealed to me underneath made my heart pound so hard I knew Beth would be able to hear it.

"Touch me Randy." She whispered in my ear as I pulled apart her shirt and threw it on to the floor with barely a thought. I stated at her heaving chest for a moment, savouring the first look at her, knowing she was here for me only. Her words got me moving once more as I placed my hands over her bra clad breast and we both sighed at the contact. Her hands now removing my t-shirt and discarding it on to the floor with her own. Her fingers then found my waist band, running across it as she arched her back into my touch and I took the opportunity to reach behind her and remove her bra. The fabric fell away and I latched my lips onto her hardened nipple. Her cries made my cock twitch, her hands had stilled right over the button to my shorts but her current state was stopping her from completing the job.

"You are so beautiful." I said moving my lips back to her own and placing my hands at her waist and pulling her up to a sitting position. She came willingly this time unhooking the button on my shorts and reaching inside. I had to suck in a quick breath and concentrate on not coming right then as her soft hand wrapped around my shaft. It moved up and down slowly, getting the feel of me and I paused my lips against the hollow of her throat as she worked me. It was awkward as I was still wearing both shorts and boxers so I quickly remedied that. Getting up and throwing my last remains of clothing away I stood before her. She giggled slightly not at the sight of me naked I was sure, but just how fast I had removed my clothes.

"You far to overdressed." I said to her not waiting for a reply and pouncing on her and pulling her jogging bottoms off her in one swift movement. I moved back up her legs kissing my way along one soft thigh only to slow my progress by kissing the other as well. Her legs had fallen open of their own accord and I knew she wanted me at her centre. She was still propped up slightly against the head board and she was looking at me. I could see her hands reaching for me, trying to encourage me up, but I remained out of her reach. Placing my lips against the highest part of her thigh I kissed downwards until my nose touched the last remaining barrier between us. I hooked my fingers under her panties and pulled them off her legs. Sitting back up I was not ready for her and she managed to almost knock me over with the force of her kiss. Rocking me backwards on my haunches I grabbed onto her as she pushed her now totally naked body against my own. Skin to skin for the first time I revelled in the feeling as her tongue danced inside my mouth.

"I want you Randy I always have." She whispered against my lips and she wasn't about to get any argument from me as she lowered her head and took me into her mouth. She applied only the gentlest of pressure and I had to hold my breath at the sensations once more. It had never been like this with my wife. Oh she had done this for me before, but the pleasure was purely physical, not like this I felt all the way down to my toes. Knowing I would not last long if she kept this up I reluctantly removed her from my lap and pushed her backwards again.

She only nodded as I moved forward again, placing myself between her open thighs and allowing the head of my cock to rest at her entrance. I teased her for a moment, running my man hood along her slick opening. Watching as the muscles on her face tightened as I passed across her clit. Without warning, and obviously to Beth surprise I slipped inside, slowly not wanting to hurt her but I had not to worry as she slammed back against me and I was up to the hilt in her tight wet heat. Not missing a beat I moved my hips in a slow but forceful rhythm as Beth fell back against the bed and mewed her pleasure. I rocked inside her for a few moments more, allowing the pressure to build before I pulled out. Her little growl of protest died on her lips as I moved down a sucked her clit into my mouth. The bucking motion of her pelvis was almost enough to throw me off. Placing my hands across her hips to keep her still I moved my tongue across her sensitive nub until she was shaking beneath me. I knew she was close but I wasn't going to let it end there. Pulling back once more I moved up to her and kissed her lips. her moth was almost painfully crushing against mine as she reached for me to slide me back inside. As she was distracted by the feel of me at her entrance once more I turned us around so she was sitting across my lap. Now impaled within her once more I watched as she placed her hands on my chest, threw her head back and began pumping herself up and down on me. The sight of her there naked and glistening above me was enough. Taking hold of her waist and providing the counter traction I needed I slammed into her. Faster and harder until it was all I knew. My name falling off her lips in a strangled cry my final undoing as her name fell of my lips. followed by only the sound of our laboured breathing.

We lay together in the moon light, neither of us bothering to close the curtains and to comfortable wrapped around one another to care either way. As she relaxed against my chest her hair falling just below my neck I bent down slightly and placed my lips to her ear.

"I love you." I whispered knowing that to say it too loud would make it disappear like smoke on the wind.

Hope you guys enjoyed that, it kind of started off in a dark place, but it ended on a good note. Please leave me your thoughts and I hope I can provide more oneshots in the future. Thanks for reading XxX


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